- “I did it by myself.”

Sounds liberating right? To say you accomplished a huge goal without the help, critique or ideas of others. But on the flip side it has taken a huge toll on your time, your social life, and other activities furthermore leaving you drained and burnt out.

Traditionally, hyper-independence manifested from childhood trauma. Neglect, abuse and abandonment taught the subconscious mind that relying on others leads to disappointment, harm and shame. Now, in modern times, the media constantly pushes reels and captions about getting it done on your own, it’s just you and yourself, live alone then die alone and disregard for the community disguised as protecting your peace. It has now created a generation of hyper-independent individuals that have some level of social neglect, if not the same level as those who experienced trauma from young.

This intentional refusal to accept support, guidance and collaboration takes a toll on building relationships, gaining trust in others and even leading to social isolation. For creatives, it’s a double edged sword for their craft and for the way they wish to represent themselves.

In a world full of inspiration and different reference points, hyper independency diminishes outside perspectives leading to less interaction with how your art is perceived. While it may grow original concepts and unconventional ideas and sound great to now create without needing validation from others and to not be influenced by what’s trending or external noise, a limited perspective can lead to limited expression, low inspiration and can spiral into repetitive and indistinctive creativity. Art is meant to prove that the world is abundant by design. It tells the story of how we all live on the same planet and yet recognize the place we live on is different to us all.

Imagine a business where the owner has to be the manager, the employee, the accountant, the custodian and the courier. Picture what his face would look like. You’d be wrong to say he has a happy and energetic expression! Hyper-independency leads to exhaustion, burnout and lack of motivation. Trying to do everything by yourself can lead to mental deterioration which can cause anxiety, depression and loneliness.

‘If you want to go fast go alone’ is a popular saying that incentivizes getting tasks done quickly. But when you have no guidance on where to go or how to start then you have only slowed yourself down. The most famous and successful people in the world have had mentors, managers, teams and friends who have propelled them further and, in many instances, faster than if they would have done it alone.

“ So I should just start trusting and working with people again? After I’ve been constantly let down, hurt and disappointed?”

The best solution is to surround yourself with likeminded individuals with similar goals as you have and allow them to offer support. Take slow steps in collaborating and establishing a strong bond to which you create a selected, solid and dedicated circle. This group is meant to allow you to have your own input, stay self driven and keep your uniqueness, while still having an outlet when needed. From there you can decide if to expand or stay within the circle. This is called interdependence- which allows you to create alone but not in isolation and is the first step to combatting hyper-independency.